HOW NORMAL AM I?

Well that’s very difficult for me to say, I don’t stand out in a crowd, in fact in a crowd you probably wouldn’t see me at all.  My four foot eleven and a half inches seems in some instances to make me invisible.  Does that make me odd, strange or queer?  I couldn’t possibly answer that, I may in fact be all of those things but to me I’m normal.

The desire to fit in to a social group, a family, a school and a work place seems to be hard wired into our brains.  It is true that being isolated entirely alone is very damaging for most human beings.  In fact society uses it as a very severe punishment, a prisoner in jail can be isolated as a further punishment knowing that most of us find it deeply distressing.  Yet at the same time we form small groups and decide that some will not be able to join our group. On the national scale the markers used can be ; religion, nationality, language, colour of skin or dress.  The place where this in and out group structure begins is primary school, in my own experience teachers can be just as involved as children in the same class

It was discovered in the early years at primary school that my son was very bright, he was tested by a psychologist.  Why this was necessary was never explained.  He had problems in writing and in relating to other children.  In my school days I was a very quiet child, I simply thought he was taking after me.  I was never told what difference the IQ test made to their teaching methods.  Much later I learnt that one of the senior teachers had given him a nick-name, Professor Branestorm.  This I found really shocking, tantamount to the teacher telling the class, this boy is strange, its alright to make fun of him.  It may seem odd but I think the only reason I can find for this behaviour is jealousy, the woman in question had a son of her own.  Jealousy is a much neglected motivator in causing certain types of behaviour.

This desire to bond together is usually closely allied to its opposite, to exclude.  In other words whose in with us and who is most definitely not.  This very quickly develops into bullying.  Don’t talk to him; he’s useless at games, his hair is too long/short, his clothes are strange, the words he uses are not the words we use.  Sadly I’m not talking hypothetically  here my eldest son was bullied at primary and secondary school, he was a gentle soul, maybe that’s why.  The people I hold most responsible are the teachers, their views ranged from; no, there’s nothing going on to its just normal they’ll grow out of it.  Their  attitudes started with, I can’t see a problem to actual complicity with the bullies, taking their side.  Not every member of staff was involved.  It was never regarded as a problem of behaviour which could be dealt with.  Due to his complete social exclusion my son had a breakdown when he was seventeen.  Fearing for his safety I insisted that he leave the school,  (his sixth-form teacher couldn’t see a problem).

At the present time I think many schools recognise that bullying is a serious problem and have a programme to deal with it.  I can only compare society’s attitude to pre-school children when frustrated or disappointed very young children sometimes resort to kicking, biting, screaming and spitting.  Most parents quite actively discourage this behaviour, making clear that it is unacceptable.  On the other hand verbal or physical bullying by children in their early teens or indeed fully grown adults is regarded as a normal part of growing up, it will pass.  The damage to the person on the receiving end of this cruel and selfish behaviour is swept out of sight as if of no account.  Our education system as a whole does nothing to encourage ideas of cooperation, the idea of helping each other.  The whole emphasis is on competition, of one boy or girl against everyone else, the law of the jungle.  Competition is seen as the foundation of the ‘free market’, this is a simplistic view as different groups of people combine together to protect their interests as a group, for example we have the National Farmers Union, the   National Union of Teachers and groups of Corporate Executives bonding together to protect their interests.  Maybe the desire of the government to turn all schools into Academy Schools is part of their desire  to minimise local autonomy  and to abolish the groups representing teachers and parent governors in order that privatised schools answer to no-one in their running of the school.

If we look close by we see a state school system which actually works very well, Finland has few natural resources but it has built up a state system which works for every child.  Children do not begin their formal education until the age of seven, an informal nursery system operates from the age of four to seven.  The emphasis is on play and just as importantly cooperating through play.  There are no tests and no grading  no-one is top and more importantly no-one is at the bottom.  At the age of seven British children are a little ahead of their Finnish counter-parts in reading, writing and number, this lead is very quickly surpassed.  All Finnish children leave school able to read, write and count.  Tragically nearly a third of British children leave school with an inadequate level of literacy and numeracy.  I don’t think that more and more testing in Academy schools is going to do anything to improve this shameful situation. 

OLD AGE ???

This is a question I take a slight personal interest in, at what age is an individual really old?  Of course there is the legal age, for a woman that age was 60 years, for a man it was 65 years.  That in itself is peculiar, every-one knows that men age quicker than women, that’s just a plain fact.  The government in an extremely rare move towards fairness is gradually extending the age at which a woman can claim her Old Age Pension to equal the age at which men can do the same.  Then the  age is to be extended further in the hope that more people will die before they ever touch their pension.  The ideology of the ruling elite is that far too many people (ordinary working people) are living far too long on the taxes paid by the very, very rich.  Of course as we all know  the 1% don’t pay their taxes, by devious means accountants pass the money around until it simply disappears, to be retrieved at a later time.  I’ve meandered away from my main point, like a well brought up woman I rarely talk about money.

   Woke up this morning feeling great, caught a glimpse in the mirror, astonished to see an old woman looking back at me.  A wrinkled face, a shrunken body, can this really be me?  I feel like one of Dr. Who’s young assistants who one day stepped into the Tardis and time travelled in a flash forward seventy years.  I stepped out and suddenly this is what I see.  It all happened so quickly; one moment I was a young woman wondering what my life would be and then like a bird flying through a hall, all I can see is a great emptiness.  Did it really all happen?

The word pensioner has in some circles fallen into disrepute; a person living off the hard work of some-one who hates the job they’re doing, taking up space in a house with a spare bedroom, using a free bus pass, collecting help with the gas bill from the government  and religiously voting for the wrong Party.  I have a very different view, the pension I get every month I paid into by way of National Insurance during my years of employment, ( I do know that the actual money is contributed by today’s working men and women).  My free ride into town takes me to the shops where I buy food, then to a cafe where I have lunch, so I’m playing my part in providing employment for the younger generation.

These days I spend a lot of time on petitions, not drafting them, no reading and signing them.  The issue which means the most to me is the position of women, it seems almost incredible to me that in so many countries of the world, and even more shockingly in this country too young girls are treated with barbarous cruelty.  The UK is by no means immune from seeing girls as objects; for example the recent case in Rochdale where many girls were trafficked for sex.  In addition in some communities  young girls are mutilated to take away any pleasure in sex and threaten their lives when they give birth to a child.  The parents are often culpable and they are not punished .  The crime is Female Genital Mutilation and it happens in the UK.

 I have been very fortunate to live in a time when women can be; doctors, lawyers, lecturers, teachers and wives and mothers.  It surprised me to learn that over half of the young people training to be doctors are women.  I’m very lucky to have lived a long time and recently I’ve been given a very special gift, I have a piece of metal inside my body to replace my hip which simply crumbled away.  So I am now a bionic woman and my superior strength will one day be revealed, at present I’m happy to walk.  There are days when I feel thirty again, oh alright thirty-five.